Why Strangers Saying 'You Must Be Tired' to Moms Is More Harmful Than You Think
Ever been told, 'You must be so tired!' just because you’re a mom? If you’re a parent, especially of multiple kids, chances are you’ve heard this exact phrase more times than you can count — often from complete strangers. And if you’re anything like Jessica, a mom of four who recently shared her experience in an eye-opening Business Insider article, you know how exhausting those comments can be in more ways than one.
Jessica’s story, shared in the article “Yes, as a mom of 4, I'm tired. But I don't like when strangers point that out.”, reveals a candid truth many parents face: unsolicited remarks about fatigue may seem harmless but often add an unexpected layer of stress and frustration.
Why Does This Happen?
Strangers often feel compelled to comment on visible signs of fatigue or the size of a family, assuming exhaustion is an automatic conclusion. While the intention might be empathy or small talk, it unintentionally reduces a complex human experience into a stereotype. It’s as if the whole story — the joys, the struggles, the strategies, and the resilience — doesn’t even matter.
Jessica shared she’s well-prepared with witty responses when people tell her how tired she must be. But beneath the humor is a deeper issue: society’s narrow view of parenthood, especially motherhood, often leaves little room for recognizing the individuality and strength of each parent.
The Emotional Toll of Simplistic Judgments
When we reduce parenthood to “tiredness,” we overlook the multifaceted nature of the journey. Moms and dads are not just tired — they are resourceful, hopeful, anxious, and often navigating sensitive health or fertility conditions that many don’t see. For those who have taken alternative routes to parenthood, such as using at-home fertility solutions like those offered by organizations like MakeAMom, the journey is even more layered.
At-home insemination kits such as MakeAMom’s CryoBaby, Impregnator, and BabyMaker provide hope and empowerment for individuals and couples managing fertility challenges outside traditional clinical environments. These kits are designed thoughtfully — tailored to factors like sperm motility and user sensitivity — highlighting that every journey is unique and deserves respect beyond tired stereotypes.
What Can We Learn From This?
Listen More, Assume Less: Instead of defaulting to platitudes about tiredness, try open-ended questions or simply acknowledging the person’s presence without judgment.
Recognize Invisible Challenges: For many, parenthood involves navigating health complexities or emotional sensitivity often unseen by others.
Respect Individual Journeys: Whether a mom is juggling four kids or using innovative fertility technology to conceive, each story is valid and deserves empathy, not assumptions.
How We Can Support Each Other Better
In a world where so many are quietly struggling with fertility or parenting stress, communities and products designed for sensitive needs make a huge difference. The reusable nature and discreet packaging of MakeAMom’s kits exemplify how thoughtful support can maintain privacy and dignity.
Moreover, sharing stories like Jessica’s helps open conversation about how societal attitudes affect emotional wellness. It invites us all to reflect: Are we truly listening and supporting, or just offering tired clichés?
Final Thoughts
The next time you think about telling a mom, “You must be so tired,” pause and ask yourself: Is this comment really helping? Or is it just a reflex that might unintentionally add weight to their day?
Parenthood is complex, beautiful, and challenging — and every parent’s journey deserves recognition for its depth, strength, and resilience.
If you or someone you know is exploring sensitive fertility options or looking for community and discreet support, resources like those on MakeAMom’s website offer compassionate, practical tools designed with care.
What’s your experience with unsolicited comments as a parent? Have you found ways to respond that change the conversation? Share your thoughts below — let's support each other with empathy and understanding.