Why I’m Done Answering ‘Are You Tired?’ as a Mom (and What It Really Feels Like)
Have you ever been a mom who’s just been hit with the dreaded, ‘Are you tired?’ from a complete stranger? If you have, you totally get it — that moment when a simple question feels less like concern and more like a spotlight on your exhaustion. Recently, a heartfelt piece titled “Yes, as a mom of 4, I'm tired. But I don't like when strangers point that out” caught my eye, and honestly, it made me reflect deeply on how moms’ emotional well-being is often misunderstood or overlooked completely.
The mom behind that article shares how strangers constantly comment on how tired she must be, assuming that her large family equals exhaustion — which, of course, it does at times. But what’s glaringly missing from these interactions? Genuine empathy and understanding beyond the surface.
Why Do We Ask Moms If They’re Tired Anyway?
It’s one of those automatic societal scripts, isn’t it? Someone sees a mom juggling kids, and the default is to say, “You look tired.” Maybe it’s meant to be a kind check-in. But often, it’s just a reminder of the invisible weight moms carry day in and day out — the sleepless nights, the nonstop errands, the emotional rollercoaster of parenting.
But here’s the thing — being tired doesn’t even begin to capture the whole experience. Moms aren’t just physically drained; their emotional and mental landscapes are complex, layered with joy, anxiety, pride, doubts, and so much love.
What If We Said Something Different?
Imagine if instead of pointing out tiredness, strangers (or even close family and friends) acknowledged the full spectrum of what motherhood entails. What if the conversations shifted to “How are you really doing?” or “What’s been the most rewarding part of your day?”
It reminds me a lot of journeys families take when trying to grow their tribe — especially those navigating fertility challenges or new paths to parenthood. These moments require so much emotional resilience and support, more than a casual ‘Are you tired?’ might ever convey.
The Emotional Journey of Family Planning: A Closer Look
For many, becoming a parent isn’t simply about waiting for a positive test. It’s a winding road filled with hope, uncertainty, and sometimes heartbreak. That’s why resources like MakeAMom — a company dedicated to accessible at-home insemination kits — are game changers.
They empower individuals and couples to take control and embrace parenthood on their own terms, in the comfort of their homes. Their kits like CryoBaby, Impregnator, and BabyMaker cater to different needs, making the process more inclusive, private, and affordable. Imagine the emotional relief of having that kind of support when the path to pregnancy is complicated or deeply personal.
This kind of empowerment and understanding is exactly what moms need — whether they’re just starting their journey or already juggling the beautiful chaos of their family.
What Can We, as a Society, Do Better?
- Stop assuming a mom’s tiredness is the whole story. She’s so much more than that.
- Ask open-ended questions. Encourage conversations that honor all feelings: joy, struggle, accomplishment, and doubt.
- Offer support without judgment. Whether it’s celebrating small victories or providing a listening ear during tough days.
- Recognize different family journeys. Parenthood looks different for everyone. Some use natural conception, others use assisted methods or adoption — each path is valid and deserves respect.
To All the Moms Out There: You Are Seen
If you’re a mom feeling worn down by repeated assumptions and comments, know this: your story is complex, your strength profound. It’s okay to feel tired and frustrated, but it’s also okay to ask for what you truly need. Whether that’s a break, a kind conversation, or tools to help make your parenting journey easier — you deserve all of it.
And for those curious about resources that support family building in innovative, empowering ways, I highly recommend checking out MakeAMom’s approach to at-home fertility solutions. They make it easier to write your own family story with confidence and care.
So next time you see a mom, try swapping ‘Are you tired?’ for something a little more human. You might just brighten her day — and maybe even change how she views herself during one of the most challenging yet incredible chapters of her life.
What’s the most memorable or frustrating comment you’ve received as a mom? Drop your stories below — let’s share, listen, and maybe laugh a little together. Because motherhood, in all its messy, beautiful glory, is better when we’re in it as a community.