The Surprising Truth About Fertility Shaming: Why We Need a New Team Spirit

Let’s get real: Why is ‘wanting a baby’ still something people side-eye, especially in the world of sports and beyond?

I’ll never forget watching that headline—“We were judged for wanting babies but I want mums on my team”—flash across my screen. Nottingham Forest netball coach Chelsea Pitman was speaking my language. Or maybe yours, too. Her raw recollection of navigating fertility and facing judgment reminded me how far we’ve come as a society—and how far we still have to go (read her story here).

The Hidden Whispers of Fertility Shame

Ask anyone walking their own fertility path, and you’ll hear it whispered: the judgment, the side glances, the subtle (or not so subtle) “Why don’t you just…?” There’s this weird, unspoken expectation, especially for women in physically demanding roles—be it on the court, in an office, or at home—that thinking about motherhood is somehow a betrayal of ambition.

Chelsea Pitman’s story lit up the group chat in my TTC community. One friend shared, “I hid my IVF rounds from my boss for a year because I didn’t want to be ‘that’ employee.” Another messaged, “I was told I was wasting my peak years. Like, who decided what my peak is?”

But it’s not just a sports thing. It’s everywhere. And let’s be honest: the shame stings, but the silence hurts even more.

Why We Need to Talk—Out Loud

What’s it going to take to flip the script? Maybe it starts by saying this out loud: Wanting to be a parent isn’t selfish, and it doesn’t make you less committed.

I’ll admit, I’ve been there—scrolling through fertility forums at 2am, feeling alone even when I’m surrounded by friends. What struck me most about Pitman’s experience wasn’t just her struggle to conceive; it was the way she was judged for wanting it at all.

If you’re reading this and nodding along, you know: navigating fertility (or even just talking about wanting kids) can feel like stepping onto a field where you don’t know the rules. And guess what? There are so many of us in the same boat.

The Power of Team Spirit—On and Off the Court

This is where the “team” analogy gets real. In sports, you don’t win alone. You need squad goals, cheerleaders, people who pass you the ball when you’re out of breath. So why are we trying to “win” at fertility solo?

Chelsea’s confession that she wants more mums on her team is not just a callout for the sports world, but for everywhere women and non-binary folks are building community. Wanting to be a mum—or dad, or parent—shouldn’t mean you’re benched.

What does support actually look like? - Sharing stories with zero shame - Offering real, actionable resources (not just platitudes) - Creating safe spaces where people can ask, “Is this normal?” and actually get answers

It’s 2025, and the conversation about fertility is way overdue for a glow-up.

Tools That Put You Back in Control

Here’s what gave me hope: the innovation pouring into at-home fertility support. Gone are the days when the only path was in-clinic, hush-hush, and wildly expensive. Now, thanks to advances in tech and community resources, bringing fertility support home is normal and even empowering.

Take companies like MakeAMom’s home insemination kits—which I discovered when searching for information and, honestly, support. The fact that they offer specific kits tailored for low motility sperm, sensitivities, or even frozen sperm? That’s a game-changer when you’re looking for agency on this journey (and yes, plain packaging matters when you’d rather not explain a bright pink box to your neighbor). Plus, their reusable approach and cost savings mean it’s not just the super-wealthy who get options.

But what struck me most? The community building around products like these. Success rates, real testimonials, and an open conversation make a difference. We need more of this—tools and teams that work for us, not against us.

Breaking the Taboo—One Story at a Time

Back to Chelsea Pitman: her willingness to share her pain and her pride is a reminder that we all win when we’re honest. The more we share, the less shame there is.

So, let’s break this down: - Talking about wanting kids in 2025 is revolutionary. - Shame only grows in the dark. Shine a light—tell your story. - We’re all stronger, braver, and more resilient when we’re in it together.

Final Whistle: Join the Real Team

If you’re feeling isolated, overwhelmed, or just plain done with fertility taboos, know that you’re not alone. Connect with support networks, share your journey, and don’t be afraid to look for innovative tools that put you back in the driver’s seat.

Because as Chelsea reminded the world, there’s room for every kind of mum, dad, or parent on this team. Want to learn more about home insemination and building your own support squad? Check out resources like this in-depth guide to at-home fertility options—and never be ashamed to want it all.

What’s the biggest fertility myth you’ve had to fight? Drop your answer in the comments—let’s keep the conversation going.