Ever been asked, ‘Are you tired?’ by a total stranger and felt like rolling your eyes so hard they might get stuck? If you’re a parent—especially a mom with multiple kids—you know exactly what I mean. Recently, a heartfelt article titled Yes, as a mom of 4, I'm tired. But I don't like when strangers point that out went viral, putting a spotlight on something almost every parent has experienced: the unsolicited sympathy that’s really kind of exhausting. Let’s unpack why this seemingly innocent question might actually be one of the worst things to say—and what we should say instead to truly support parents in our lives.

The Problem with ‘Are You Tired?’

Moms, dads, guardians—their lives are jam-packed with juggling diapers, work deadlines, PTA meetings, and oh yeah, sometimes they’re trying to sleep. But asking a parent if they’re tired comes with a hidden landmine of assumptions:

  • That exhaustion is the defining feature of their day
  • That they need pity or sympathy from strangers
  • That their struggles are a spectacle to observe

The mom behind the viral article shares her battle-tested comebacks, but the heart of it is this: no one wants to be reduced to a walking yawn. It’s an oversimplification of a complex experience.

So What’s a Better Approach?

Imagine if instead of the tired question, people asked, “What’s been the highlight of your day?” or “How can I support you right now?” Those openers invite connection, empathy, and encouragement. They acknowledge that parenthood is a rollercoaster, not just a nap-deprived slog.

Parenting Fatigue Isn’t Just About Sleep

Parenting fatigue runs deeper than just counting hours of shut-eye. It’s emotional, mental, and sometimes even physical exhaustion from constant care and responsibility. That’s why conversations about alternative paths to parenthood are crucial – understanding the diverse journeys and challenges involved.

If you’re exploring parenthood through alternative means like at-home insemination, adoption, or surrogacy, fatigue isn’t just about having kids to chase after — it's layered with hope, anxiety, and determination. For instance, companies like MakeAMom have revolutionized how people try to conceive by providing discreet, cost-effective insemination kits tailored to different fertility needs. This innovation empowers hopeful parents to take control of their journeys in the comfort of home — reducing stress and adding a bit of empowerment to the process.

The Power of Community and Support

Being tired is part of the story, sure. But community, understanding, and the right tools can transform the narrative. Whether it’s a reassuring word, a shared laugh, or an at-home insemination kit that works, support systems make all the difference.

  • Listen more, judge less. Sometimes, the best question is none at all—just a genuine smile and an open heart.
  • Educate yourself on diverse family building methods. Knowledge breeds empathy.
  • Celebrate the small wins. Every step in parenthood’s journey deserves recognition.

Your Turn: How Will You Change the Conversation?

Next time you see a parent looking overwhelmed (or even when you’re that parent), think twice before asking if they’re tired. Instead, try sparking a conversation that uplifts and connects. You might just be the energy boost they didn’t know they needed.

And if you or someone you know is navigating the wild world of fertility and family building, exploring innovative solutions like those from MakeAMom could be a game-changer — blending science, discretion, and accessibility all in one.

So, what do you think? How would you respond if someone asked if you were tired? Or better yet, what’s the best support you’ve ever received as a parent? Drop your thoughts and stories below — because this conversation? It’s just getting started.